Our little miracle!

Almost 17 months...

2011-02-18T22:22:00.005-05:00

Delilah is really running around now. I took her to the park yesterday and she climbed all over and ran around in the dirt. She enjoyed herself until she fell and got her hands dirty and then she stood there and cried and held her hands up waiting for someone to clean them :)

Her little bangs were in her eyes so much that I finally had to get them cut. I wanted to wait for the "first haircut" until we could really get a lock of hair, but it had to be done. She was not happy!

She is getting alot of teeth and alot of attitude nowadays. She knows what she does and doesn't want, but she can't tell me still since she just won't start talking. Well, there is stuff constantly coming out of her mouth as far as lots of screaming and babbling and wannabe talking, but she never makes the same sound twice. She makes da da and ma ma noises sometimes, but still won't look or point at me and just say it! She is really stubborn... wonder where she is getting that from? Kind of concerning that she is going to model alot of her behavior after me! She might be better off if I put her in daycare now :) All in all, we are doing really good...

Big Girl

2011-01-20T01:00:00.004-05:00

Not really a baby anymore! Delilah is so smart and knows so many words now. She doesn't say many clear words (despite talking ALL day), but she knows what we are saying. She knows dog and kitty kat, bunny, egg, banana, shoe, hair, nose, teddy bear, etc. She may know about 40 total words. I can't believe how fast she is learning now. She had a pretty good tantrum tonight. I wouldn't do what she wanted because I was busy and told her to go get daddy and she threw herself on the wood floor and kicked her little feet and cried and cried. Oh, what a beautiful sight! It really is for me because I never thought I would ever even have one of these little beauties. She is the joy of my life. What a precious gift from God.

Christmas is coming!

2010-12-11T22:26:00.003-05:00

We took Lilah Bear to get a Christmas tree this weekend. It was sooooo cold, but she didn't seem to mind. She likes the tree and looks over at it when I ask her where the Christmas tree is. She is learning alot of new words and will go get her woobie, penguin, teddy bear, cup, etc. when you ask her where they are. She is really a happy baby and so social. She loves going out and interacting with everyone at the store. She is pretty much able to walk now, so she can get down and have a little bit of freedom when we are out. She likes that alot. Not really a baby anymore :(

Dee Walking

2010-11-30T11:55:00.002-05:00

Baby's one

2010-11-04T00:20:00.002-04:00

Well, 13 months now! She is so cute! She was a frog for Halloween and actually went trick or treating and didn't hate it too much. She loved chewing on the candy wrappers (but not actually getting any candy).

She still isn't walking yet, but standing alone, unsupported for 10 seconds at a time or so. She laughs and smiles so much. She is a pretty happy baby. I love her to death. She is a dream come

true.

She is shaking her little head "no" all the time now and still dislikes meat. She is eating some egg whites now though. She loves to carry her "woobie" (aka. burp cloth) around all the time and still sucking the thumb. She is not much into actual words still, but talks all the time. She says something that sounds like "what's this" and "what's that" all the time while pointing at stuff. She say "ya ya" alot when Greg's around... may be her version of "da da". She laughs so hard when Greg plays with her that it cracks us up. She never seems to get hiccups anymore when she laughs for him, but if I make her laugh she still gets them... weird! She grins really big all the time and finally learned to hold and drink her own bottle or sippy cup. It took forever for her to get it! She is getting big fast... her comes the terrible twos!

Turning one soon...

2010-09-20T23:05:00.004-04:00

Here are some updated pics:

Planning Delilah's first birthday! I can't believe this year has gone by so fast :( She is a big girl now. She is the greatest thing that has ever happened to us... we love her so much. I love being a mom. I never thought I would be here, and it is as great as I imagined. I can't wait for her birthday party :)

Oh no :(

2010-08-10T23:01:00.002-04:00

I just sat and watched the video I posted on here yesterday. It really occurs to me that I am going to miss her being a baby so bad in a year or two! Since she is probably going to be our only one, it is so bittersweet to see how big she is getting. I am so excited to watch her growing and learning new things, but it breaks my heart to know one day she won't be my snuggly little baby anymore! I hope it slows down some :)

Delilah Playing

2010-08-09T21:27:00.002-04:00

10 Months old!

2010-08-09T21:15:00.004-04:00

Been so long! It is getting harder to find the time to update the pics and keep up with the scrapbooking!

Delilah has six teeth now and is eating alot more solids. She is getting around crawling and is starting to pull up on things. She is a handful now... alot harder to keep after now that she wants some freedom. Here are some updated pics!

What a night!

2010-06-17T23:25:00.006-04:00

I have been having problems logging onto my blog! Well, I am finally on here. Delilah updates:

trying to get her to wear new glasses that the doc prescribed for her eye crossing. they say maybe she'll only need them for a few months if I can ever get her wearing them
she is cutting her two front, bottom teeth finally... so cute!
she is getting really long, but not gaining much weight
her hair is getting crazy long and all fuzzy and cute
she is starting to push herself around backwards and has been rolling all over the place
she makes alot of wordy noises and says da da alot... not much ma ma still
she doesn't want to be put down anymore during the day, so I hear alot of crying
she is starting to cling to me or Greg now when we try to pass her off to someone ( I love that)

Here are some pics and a video of her saying da da. Make sure to turn the sound down on music player at bottom of page.

Video of "da da"

In memory and celebration

2010-05-19T18:56:00.005-04:00

Here is a link to the memorial slideshow I just made for Oscar (Delilah is in it too). I was so excited about it. I posted here, but it just froze halfway through. It is on my facebook account as well. I tried to make it so it wasn't private, let me know if you can't view it and would like to and I will go in and make all of my pics private.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000564375293&v=app_2392950137&ref=profile#!/video/video.php?v=123628850999260

So little Delilah is having some issues with her eye crossing still. The eye doc wants her in glasses right now! Glasses! Have you ever seen a 7 month old with glasses!?!?!? Well, you may see her with them soon enough. Greg wants another opinion... he thinks glasses for her is going to be miserable for me. It will be ridiculous. She will just try to eat them all the time and won't keep them on I am sure. Here are some new pics...

Where have I been?

2010-04-26T23:13:00.011-04:00

Dee Dee laughing

Don't forget to go to the music player at the bottom of the page and pause it if you want to be able to hear the video more clearly.

Sooooooooo long since an update... shame on me!
Well, Delilah had a wonderful Easter and she is learning all kind of new things. She is rolling all around in the last few weeks and as a result we seem to be head injury central. Every time I turn around even though I try to block everything hard in her room off with pillows she manages to roll somewhere and hit her head on the rocking chair, changing table, etc. before I can catch her. She loves standing up the most. She hasn't really been keen on eating solids yet, but today she ate a whole serving of sweet potatoes... very exciting!

At her last visit in early April she was 26.5 inches long and 15 pounds 2 ounces. She is growing up fast. She is a very good little girl. Here are some updated pictures.

Delilah eating... sort of

2010-03-14T23:12:00.008-04:00

VIDEO: Delilah eating and making "eeewwww" face

Delilah isn't so sure about solid foods still. She will eventually eat them, but makes a terrible face for the first five or six bites. It is sooooooo funny! I love it! She is back to eating well again. For a week she really just wasn't eating right. It happened right after I got sick to my stomach for about a week.

After I had my sickness, I started getting dizzy about a week later. It was really bothersome and I was feeling some sinus pressure coming and going, so I went to the doctor. Well, while I was there I told them I was dealing with some anxiety issues still and they referred me to go see..... a shrink! Yes, I have fallen off of the wagon enough now that I had to have a "psychiatric evaluation" the other day. Great. Well, it went really well and I really like the doctor. It is close to the house. He doesn't really like to medicate people with long standing anxiety issues, so that makes me feel a little better. I don't really like taking medications too much. So, I will be seeing him weekly for right now to try to get some tools for retraining my thinking patterns to help me deal with my waaayyyyyy anxious nature. I don't want little Delilah to have to grow up to be like this.

Sooooo, while I was in the doctor's office she drew some blood work to make sure that I am not anemic after having the baby. She calls back the other day and tells me that I am not anemic, but my liver enzymes showed up way elevated on one of the tests. She said she was surprised to see it because I am not on any meds that could be stressing my liver and I have no history of drug or alcohol abuse. So what is wrong with my liver right now? I don't know. I am going back for repeat blood work tomorrow or Tuesday. I was sick a few weeks before going in and she says it may have been the illness causing the liver enzymes to be elevated. We will see if they are still like that after the repeat test. I am hoping they are not. I am too busy to deal with some annoying health issue right now, you know :) So... that's it for now :)

Delilah doesn't like food!

2010-03-08T22:26:00.002-05:00

Delilah doesn't much care for solid foods :) She makes this "yucky" face every time she gets a mouthful of rice cereal or green beans. It is so funny! You would think she would get used to it, but she acts like it is the first time she has tasted it every time.

She had to go into the doctor for a weight check the other day because she was eating bad for about a week. She weighed 14 lbs. and 6 oz. at five months. She is really big for her birth weight being so small. She seems to be eating again, so it must have just been a little bit of tummy upset.

She is getting the giggles now when you kiss on her or make funny noises. Unfortunately, every time she laughs she gets the hiccups. And I do mean EVERY time! I feel so bad because it is fun making her laugh but then she pays for it with a half an hour of hiccups. She really doesn't like the hiccups. I was so excited to see her laughing and now I just feel bad for making her laugh. Really? As much as we have been through and the anxiety that I am still struggling to deal with, you would think the fun things like making your baby laugh could just be fun. But no, instead I have to watch her hiccup and spit up and then get upset and cry because she laughed. :( So anyway, she is really sweet for the 20 seconds she is laughing before the hiccups start.

She is going to be a year old in no time! I am just now starting her scrapbook. I have the first page done. So I hope I catch up soon :)

How to get video to play

2010-02-15T00:58:00.002-05:00

See if this works for you if you are trying to watch the current video, but it won't play.

I tried to go back to October and play the video of her posted there. It worked. So then I came back to the current video, and it played it. Blogger is having video problems right now. I saw it in their forum, but have no idea why it is taking them a month to fix it.

Hope this helps!

Video of Delilah talking

2010-02-08T09:00:00.004-05:00

Video of Delilah talking. Remeber to go to the bottom of this page and turn the sound down on the music player so you can hear her. It took me ALL day to get this video to upload. The blogger site is having some problems with the videos uploading. I want to put some more video on, but it may take a few days!

New pics... new skills

2010-02-07T23:04:00.009-05:00

Delilah is now able to hold her head up really well. She rolled over some more the other day and can really get up onto her side from her back now. I think she would roll over onto her stomach if she didn't hate being on her stomach so much. She is sitting up really well and has a little seat that helps her sit. She was playing with a toy today and really reaching for things on it and pushing the buttons.

Yesterday we gave her rice cereal on a spoon for the first time... she was so cute and messy.
She had a doctor's appointment on Feb. 3rd. She was 13.8 pounds and 24 1/2 inches long. She is now in the 50th percentile for weight and height. Her head was 39 cm around... so that went to the 10th percentile... up from the 5th. So she still has a little head :)

Every once in a while I will be playing with her and she gets a big belly laugh going... so she is starting to think things are funny. She is so great! I just love being her mom. It is so much better than I could ever have imagined.

No time!

2010-01-27T00:37:00.002-05:00

I find myself with little to no time to update this blog! I really want to get some new pics on here tomorrow. Delilah is getting so big and doing so many things. She looks so cute with her little head up when on her tummy and flopping around (wanting to crawl so bad). She has been really "talking" the last few days. She says all this stuff that sounds like chinese and then she yells really loud. She is sitting up really well and looks like such a big girl! I can't believe it is going so fast. She has an appointment next Wednesday, so we will know a new weight and length then. She will be a year old before I know it... I'm not ready for her to be growing up already!

Three months old already!

2010-01-05T21:52:00.008-05:00

She is getting big! I am pretty sure she is about 12 lbs. now, but we won't get an official weigh in until early February. She stayed up with me (kind of) on New Year's and got her pic taken in her cute little hat. She had a wonderful Christmas morning and an excellent time visiting all of her grandparents. It was such a great holiday season having her here. The holidays were what I pictured getting to in my mind while I was on bedrest and they were just as great as I thought they would be. We are so grateful for her every day!

2009-12-16T21:31:00.007-05:00

Here are some pics of the baby! She is getting so cute and big. She weighed 10 lbs. 2 oz. at her two month checkup at the beginning of the month. She had some yucky shots and was hysterical when she came home for an hour or two. She ran a little fever :( Here are pics of her first snow, a trip to her Great Grandma's, and her bubble "Santa beard". She is sooooooooooooooooo cute! I just want to eat her up! I read her The Poky Little Puppy the other day... her first book! She smiled the whole time and looked at the pictures too :)

Two months old!

2009-11-30T15:37:00.004-05:00

Delilah is getting big fast! She has a doctor's appointment in two days and we will see how big she has gotten. She will have to get several shots at that appointment... I am breaking out in a sweat just thinking about it :(

Here are some pics of her on Thanksgiving. I am still a little hormonal because her tights were way too big and I really got upset and cried about it. REALLY?!? It's just a pair of tights!

Getting so big!

2009-11-17T13:58:00.003-05:00

Delilah is getting so chunky and big. She is smiling alot now. I still get caught off guard when she does it. I will pick her up to get her changed and say "Hi baby" and she will smile! Here are some cute pictures.

Cute baby or Cranky baby?

2009-11-13T12:13:00.003-05:00

Delilah has split personality! Sometimes she is soooooooooooooooooo cute! And then she turns into this little cranky, crying stinker!

In the video I was trying to get her to coo. She is making such cute noises and smiling some lately when you talk to her. I am going to try to get more video of her "talking" today. In between crying fits I guess because she is cranky today!

New pics, Halloween

2009-11-02T13:57:00.005-05:00

Delilah is a month old!

2009-11-01T17:44:00.003-05:00

She is getting so big! Last night we went to Greg's brother's house for Halloween and had dinner. Delilah was a pea pod for Halloween (should have pictures on here in a day or two). She was so cute! I had to make her costume because all of the pea pod costumes were 0-6 months size and would have been HUGE on her :) She didn't like being in her costume much and only wore it for a combined 10 minutes yesterday. It only took me several days to make!

She goes to the doctor tomorrow so I should be able to update everyone on her weight. Her poor little face is all broken out and I don't know how to help it :( Hopefully the doctor can shed some light on that.

I am getting more used to the routine of being a mommy I think. I only had a meltdown one time this week and I recovered within 30 minutes! It is so much harder to get ready to go places now than it used to be. Just going to Greg's brother's took like 2 hours to get ready for with pumping milk and storing it and washing and sterilizing bottles and diaper bags and feeding and changing and car seats and getting myself a shower and ready and finally eating lunch for myself! I need to always plan on at least an hour and a half to get ready to go someplace I think. She is so wonderful though, it makes it all worth it. I love snuggling her and kissing her. She makes these cute little squeaks and sighs now. She is better than I could have ever imagined. She is getting big fast!

Pictures and video

2009-10-24T12:43:00.013-04:00

Remember that if you want to be able to hear the sound on the video you need to go to the bottom of this page and turn down the volume on the music player. Make sure your computer volume is still up though.

She has some real nasal congestion issues

She loves napping with her daddy

Leave me alone!

First trip to the doctor

First bath

She makes a face in this video that looks just like Popeye!

Delilah is getting fat!

2009-10-22T20:30:00.002-04:00

I need to get some more pics on here... I just can't believe I seem to be so busy!

Delilah was 6 pounds and 8 ounces at her 2 week appointment. She is 3 weeks old already... it is flying by! I am trying so hard to hang onto every second. She is getting heavy now. She is noticeably bigger already and I am already missing her being so tiny. I hope that I can really cherish every second of her little life... even the times that she is crying for hours on end :)

There have been very hard days and very easy days. She is a good girl. We love her so much. We have had a hard time telling how much she is actually getting to eat with the breastfeeding. I am always feeling stressed that she isn't nursing long enough. So I am basically pumping all of her milk now and feeding her with a bottle. It takes a little more time, but I am not as stressed about her eating habits now. I do miss nursing her all the time though.

I hope to get some updated pictures on here tomorrow. I am just so overwhelmingly busy with here though. I feel so privileged to be able to spend so much time with her and know her so well. She is a totally different person than anyone else on Earth and I get to see her grow every day more than anyone else. No one will know a baby as well as their mom does. It is just so neat!

Update

2009-10-12T12:26:00.002-04:00

So Baby Delilah is a week and a half old... and so cute! It has been much harder than I thought it would be to adjust to having a newborn :)

Some days are good and some days she cries all day until I start crying all day too. She and I are having a good day today so far. We have had some challenges the last day or two with the breastfeeding. We gave her a bottle on Sunday and I was so sad about it. I cried some more. I cry alot right now. Must be hormones. I cry when she is cute. I cry when she cries. I cry because I am tired and want someone else to take a feeding but then when we give her a bottle I cry because I would rather breastfeed her. Really? Poor Greg just sittin here watching me and her cry every night!

She is very worth everything we have gone through. I wouldn't trade her for the world. Greg is so wonderful with her (and with me). He is patient and loves holding her and changing her and giving her a bath. She hates her bath right now though. I hope she will like it in a month or so. Then Daddy can have a fun time giving her a bath.

I will try to get some current pictures posted in a day or two. I hope that one day I will get all the pictures we have taken printed out. There are hundreds all ready though, so I will have to be selective! She is already changing so fast... I hope she stays little for a while!

Pictures!

2009-10-05T07:48:00.018-04:00

Baby's first hiccups outside the womb! To hear this you need to go all the way to the bottom of this page and turn down the sound on the music player. Then make sure your computer sound is up all the way so you can hear her hiccups!

She's here! I was in labor!

2009-10-03T20:22:00.002-04:00

Delilah Rae Currence is here! We came home today :)

It has been a huge adjustment with the feedings and recovery from birth. I seem to have no time to do anything else right now! I want to get pictures up on here and some emailed. I will have to do it tomorrow though.

She was born on Thursday, October 1st, at 1:10 pm. She is 18.5 inches long and weighs 5 lbs. and 15 ounces. She is sooooooooooooooooooooo cute! She is a good baby so far and we love her so much! Daddy REALLY loves her. I think he would hold her 24 hours a day if he was able. She loves her daddy too!

Apparently not?

2009-09-29T14:37:00.002-04:00

I got sent home! Ha Ha!

I am only 1 cm dialated right now and my contractions spaced out to 6 minutes apart while just laying in the hospital bed. So even though while I was up all morning they were continually 4 minutes apart for HOURS, I am not in active labor. Maybe prelabor or early stages of labor they said. But who knows how long this will last for. Knowing me, probably forever. All that time spent keeping her in and my cervix closed and now I am going to need horrible contractions for hours to get myself to dialate. Oh, the irony.

So, maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but hopefully soon I will get some bad enough labor going on to get this baby out!

AM I IN LABOR?????

2009-09-29T07:43:00.002-04:00

Probably not! But if this isn't something going on, then I am just REALLY uncomfortable for no good reason!

I have been up since 5:30 am with almost constant menstrual cramping all through my back and pelvis and contracting pretty uncomfortably every four to five minutes since then. I called the doc after about an hour and they said to let it go another hour or so and see if it let up. If not, I need to go in to be checked. Well, so far, no let up. I took a shower and have been walking around since 5:30 and I can't get this to let up! I hope this will be labor... I am going to be pretty disappointed if not. I will update later on this afternoon. If there is no update then I am probably in the hospital. Please pray that this is labor!

Pics and post below

2009-09-28T16:39:00.012-04:00

38 weeks and 4 days

2009-09-28T15:57:00.002-04:00

So it looks like I just gave up on my blog or something! I guess I have just quit counting because I see myself as all done now :)

So Delilah is still in with no labor in sight! I figure I will never go into labor and wind up being induced. At least we would be able to plan things then. I have an appointment on Thursday to see if anything has changed. I am betting that I will look exactly the same as when they took the stitch out. We will see. I am a little nervous about labor and delivery, but since I feel like it is never going to happen it hasn't been too bad.

So both Greg and I are really ready not to be pregnant anymore :) Greg is excited about bringing Delilah home. I am excited too! I am also a little bit nervous about being a parent I suppose. I know that we will do just fine. I can't wait to dress her in all of her cute clothes. She has so much wonderful stuff waiting here for her!

The stitch is out

2009-09-22T14:36:00.003-04:00

So the stitch is out! It went better and worse than I thought.

Dr. Argeles came to cut the stitch and it got done around 8:30 am. Seemed like it would be simple. He cut and pulled out something and it only hurt a little. Problem was that he accidentally cut the stitch into two pieces and could only get part of it out. He wasn't able to get to the other piece (after 15 minutes of trying and ALOT of discomfort on my part). So, long story short, we will wait until delivery to get the other piece out :) So I am not stitch free, just have it cut basically.

Since the stitch was cut I have been having alot of menstrual type cramping and contracting that I wasn't having before, but they watched me for 2 hours and it wasn't doing anything to my cervix. My cervix is basically 80% effaced or thinned out and only a fingertip dialated. It was like that after the stitch came out and stayed that way until they sent me home. So this was what they expected to happen. They say I probably have some scar tissue from the stitch and will need real labor to dialate my cervix. I am pretty sure the discomfort and cramping contractions I am having all day is just from them messing with everything. It feels like it did after the stitch was put in.

Greg took me today and he wanted to look at my cervix. Lovely. I am sure that there is nothing more romantic than having your husband looking over your OBGYN's shoulder at your cervix like you are a science project :) I kept the piece of the stitch that they cut out. It looks like thin rope more than a stitch. Pretty fascinating. Some may think it's weird that we kept it. Not sure if I will continue to keep it or just throw it away. Maybe I will scrapbook it.... eeeewwwwwww!

So now we wait, some more!

Fancy pics

2009-09-21T19:50:00.005-04:00

Here are some art type pregnancy pics I took today in case I deliver tomorrow. I didn't get to do the "pregnancy photography" thing, so I did it myself!

Stitch comes out tomorrow!

2009-09-21T19:22:00.002-04:00

So tomorrow morning at 8 am we will be having the stitch cut out! I most likely won't have her tomorrow, but at least anytime my body wants to after that, it can. Right now the stitch is still preventing her from being born.

So I am feeling excited and pretty nervous. I have had some very painful pulling of the stitch the last week and I am afraid it will hurt to have removed. Kind of a funny thing to be afraid of since I KNOW that Delilah is going to "hurt to have removed". Ha Ha.

So, we will see what happens. I will try to update tomorrow after I get out of the hospital. No update probably means I am still in there, which might mean having a baby!

37 Weeks and 2 Days

2009-09-19T13:14:00.019-04:00

We are going in to get the stitch cut out on Tuesday! I can't wait! Only a couple of more weeks at most and we should have the baby. It feels like I will be pregnant forever at this point :)

I have some pics of the nursery. I will post some pics of the baby shower later as well.

I had a growth scan at 36 weeks and Delilah only measured 5 pounds and 2 ounces when she should have been closer to 6 pounds at the rate she had been growing before. So if I don't have her the day they cut the stitch the OB wants me to go to the high risk OB for another growth scan, just to check. If she really isn't growing then I may have her sooner than later if it would be better for her to be out than in. The good news from the scan is she still looks like a girl! I was thinking she may come out a boy now that she has such cute, fashionable clothes!

So here are the pics!

36 Weeks!

2009-09-10T10:24:00.003-04:00

Getting really close now!

I had a wonderful baby shower over the weekend. I don't have any pics of it yet, but when I get some, I will post a few :) She has a TON of clothes!

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and checked out okay. I am having an ultrasound scan done today to make sure things look okay. She will get measured and hopefully my mind will be eased a little. I just need some reassurance that she is doing okay right now in order to make it through the next few weeks. 12 more days until the stitch gets cut out! Doctor Argeles says he is probably still going to have to induce labor at 41 weeks. We'll see!

I will post some pics later of Delilah's nursery, which is getting cuter by the minute. I will post an ultrasound pic if I get one too!

Pic

2009-09-04T07:28:00.004-04:00

Apparently there was not even an inkling of a tan for me this year :)

35 Weeks

2009-09-03T21:39:00.003-04:00

We had a doctor's appointment today and things are still holding :)

I have 1.9 cm of cervix length left with a little bit of that above the stitch still. So she is not sitting right on the stitch yet. I have been able to make short trips out to the Babies R Us and to my brother in law's wedding last weekend. I have also been able to sit up more when at home. I am off of all the meds for contractions and am doing well so far. So since I looked pretty good today I didn't lose any of my new found privileges, thank goodness!

Delilah has a dresser in her room now in addition to the crib and she will have a bassinet soon. My dad took me out to the Babies R Us last night and bought me one... I have enjoyed getting closer to my dad during the pregnancy. He has been very invested in it and is excited to meet Baby Delilah.

So I am just thinking and thought that I would comment on how much people have helped out during the pregnancy. So many people from church have visited and called and brought meals. Friends from the pregnancy loss support group have been encouraging through emails. Family and friends have helped get the nursery construction done while I was in the hospital and still made time to visit. My family has mowed grass and taken care of me during the day time and visited often. Our neighbors are the best neighbors anywhere! They too have brought meals and helped with getting me to the doctor and called. Just today a neighbor I don't really know very well who cleans houses offered to come over and clean my house for no charge! I am so glad because I have really been wanting to get the house cleaned, but I am just not about asking people to do things. I would rather just say yes to an offer, you know? Oh yeah, and when I came home fourth of July weekend, our neighbors Chris and Sarah set off a ton of awesome fireworks where I could watch them from the bedroom window :) I didn't think I would get to see fireworks this year!

And now everyone is helping get ready for the baby. So we have just been blessed with alot of support and help from many people. And Greg has just been the greatest taking care of us and working and getting Delilah's room ready and still being a wonderful man. I love him so much. I know he is probably tired of me being pregnant and can't wait for her to get here too.

So far, so good... we will keep on truckin!

34 Weeks

2009-08-27T14:46:00.006-04:00

Well, Delilah is still in there. I am really all done now. I never thought I would make it this far and I need her out now!

The contractions have become alot more painful and constant (every five minutes) and miserable again the last few days. I have been doing well on the contractions and now I am not sure this is going to be very good for Delilah if I contract all day everyday for the next four weeks before the stitch comes out. Seems to me so much contracting for so long would be hard on her. These of course are going to be questions for the doc.

So today I am allowed more privileges like going out for a short trip each day. Of course, if it makes my contractions horrible, it may not be fun :( My stitch is coming out on September 22nd at 8 am. Only 26 more days to that. Then at least the contractions can just dialate me if they want to :)

We got our crib in and set up! Greg's mom and stepdad got it for us and brought it over and helped Greg set it up. I was soooo excited! Then, half an hour later I was crying because I feel like having furniture moved in for her is going to "jinx" me and something will go wrong. I do have to say that I have had a few days of major anxiety since the crib came. I don't have to worry about preterm labor anymore, so now I am concerned some other thing will happen that will keep us from bringing her home. I know that no one wants to hear this and would rather I just "not think that way" or "stop worrying", but that is not going to happen. I will be afraid of my body hurting her in some way until she is out and crying. Part of this is that I realized for 100% sure that there can not and will not ever be another pregnancy after this. I can never go through something like this again. I just can't tolerate the fear and physical difficulty and danger of losing the baby and fear of harming her with all the medications ever again. So now alot is riding on her coming home. She is our only chance at our own child and I couldn't bear it if something happened now.

So, now you know how I have been for a few days. But, at any rate, the crib is really cute! Here is a belly pic and a pic of the new crib.

33 Weeks!!

2009-08-20T18:35:00.009-04:00

So we are 33 weeks! I found out yesterday that if my stitch will continue to hold they are not going to remove it until 37 weeks and 5 days! FIVE MORE DAYS!!!! I CAN'T TAKE FIVE MORE DAYS!!!

Okay, so that said, Dr. Argeles wants to do the removal and he is on vacation the week before. He is on vacation everytime I need him here!

So, here are some pictures of the nursery. The carpet came today.

And here are some pictures of my belly.....

Almost 33 weeks

33 Weeks!

She will be here soon... not much longer!

32 Weeks

2009-08-13T17:13:00.002-04:00

We are 32 weeks! This is a big milestone! Only five more weeks until my stitch comes out. I hope that they go quickly.

I have been able to start sitting up a little more now that I am further along. So I am typing this entry with two hands sitting up like a real person again. Feels weird, but I haven't forgotten how to type in the last two months, so that is good.

Greg's mom bought Delilah's crib today and we got a mobile from Pastor Dave and Betty that is soooo cute! I have gotten some cute outfits from my sister too. Greg is painting some in the room and getting ready for carpet to go in next week. Baby Dee is going to be spoiled rotten, that's for sure :)

I had an appointment yesterday and still looked good, so we should be able to make it to 34 weeks and beyond. They will probably have to induce me at 41 weeks at this rate. I hope she falls out as soon as they cut the stitch. I am sure I will have no such luck... I will probably be in labor for days!

31 Weeks!

2009-08-06T15:52:00.002-04:00

So we are 31 weeks :) i have been struggling a little mentally and emotionally on and off nowadays. today is a good day emotionally. i am really getting very weak and sick feeling physically. i can't wait for Delilah to be born so i can start feeling good again!

Delilah's room is going to start getting paint tomorrow! it is going to be so cute in there. hopefully i will get the digital camera i would like ordered this week so i can post some pictures of her room and my belly. i meant to order it when i hit 24 weeks, but things got out of hand about then and i never ordered it.

i had a doctor's appointment yesterday and things looked great. so much so that i am again left wondering why we had to go through the whole hospital ordeal at all the other week. the doc said as long as i don't have preterm labor that he thinks the stitch could make it to 37 weeks! i am gonna keep hoping for that. when i was hospitalized this last time and thought we were going to have her i heard someone in a room near ours deliver a baby and heard it crying really loud. i was so upset because i knew if Delilah were born at 29 weeks she wouldn't come out screaming nice and loud. i just really dreamed of delivering a full term, screaming baby that could stay with us and not go to the NICU. i was pretty sure we had lost that possibility, but now it seems possible again :)

30 weeks and 1 day!

2009-07-31T10:21:00.003-04:00

We have made it to a week that starts with a three! things have been much better since we came home from the hospital. let's hope i can stay outta there :) i don't think i even want to go back to deliver her!

delilah has really been moving and squirming alot. i can feel her hiccuping pretty regularly. she usually hiccups after i eat. i can feel a foot or elbow or something really poking out the last couple of days :)

i only have 3 weeks and 5 days left in bedrest. i remember very specifically when i had 7 weeks and 6 days left on bedrest and i thought i would NEVER make it! it has been a month since then... so we are moving along. i am working on week 7 of 10 total bedrest weeks. i never thought the stitch would carry her this far! please pray for greg... he really has alot on him right now. he is such a wonderful husband and is so supportive. he has been excited about decorating delilah's room... he bought her a pretty girly ceiling fan. it has butterfly pull chains and pastel color blades...

very cute!!!!!

Home from hospital...AGAIN

2009-07-28T10:06:00.002-04:00

We are almost 30 weeks! so i haven't been able to update recently... this could be long :0

i wen't to the docs on tues., july 21st. by the time i got in the car and got there i was having pretty strong contractions every four minutes. i was also having more pelvic pressure than usual. well, they checked my cervix and said i did not have 2.8 cm of cervix anymore for sure and the way her head was positioned they were concerned about her trying to deliver.

so they sent me straight over to the hospital where they immediately put me on magnesium sulfate. you should google that stuff if you get a chance. i thought i was on fire from the inside out, luckily i never vomited though. i was only allowed to have ice chips for the first 24 hours on that and couldn't have solids for 48 hours. in a nutshell they wanted to keep the contractions slowed for at least two days so i could get another round of shots for baby dee's lungs in case she delivered. i had more contractions on that stuff than i normally do. i also think the major stress of this hospitalization caused more contractions!

So after they stopped that med it took a few days to really get things quiet again. they came in yesterday to do a high risk ultrasound and found me with 2 cm of cervix left and not looking like i was going to deliver. needless to say i am a little perturbed because i now feel like this whole week of mess and grief was unnecessary and stress for no reason. i always contract a ton and feel like if they had given it some time to calm down i may have avoided the magnesium. but, we can't go back now. my regular doc was on vacation during all of this unfortunately.

so. baby dee measured 3 pounds and 4 ounces yesterday. which is so exciting! she is huge! everything is stable enough for now, but i am getting more uncomfortable and the contractions are getting stronger. the only real hang up now is my growing fear of the side effects that all of this medication use could have on the baby. i am so afraid of hurting her physically or her little brain development with the meds that have been used. i am trying not to be afraid, but using that stupid magnesium just added one more med to the list. please pray that she is protected from ill effects and will be healthy and normal (well, as normal as she can be with me as her mom i guess).

her room is making great progress! greg's dad and friend richard have been over here spackling her room while we were in the hospital. her bedding came in and i get to pick out paint chips this week! how exciting! i will try to stay updated :)

Almost 28 weeks!!!!!

2009-07-15T09:39:00.003-04:00

I went to the doctor yesterday and things are still holding in spite of the contractions! how exciting! so we definitely have 28 weeks in the bag! i am still hoping for 37 total, but 30 weeks is a mark that is definitely in sight :)

during the ultrasound i had a pretty big contraction and could see the top of my cervix trying to open. i knew that was probably happening during contractions, but it is scary to see my body still trying to push her out too soon. Oh well, only 9 more weeks til the stitch comes out and only 6 more weeks of strict bedrest (hopefully)! she has stayed in for a month since the stitch, so whats another month or two?

I started a registry at babies r us. i can really only do one since doing it online is hard. if anyone wants to get something and finds it cheaper elsewhere, please don't buy it there :) things like diapers, wipes, lotion, etc. are much cheaper elsewhere. i haven't added too much yet, but here is the link.

https://www.toysrus.com/ControllerServlet?target=viewDetails&operation=authenticate_user&registryNumber=98805595&from=registrySearch

if it doesn't work you can search us by name on their website or at the store. i am going to try to add more over the next week or two. i still can't really fathom that she is going to live and i am ever gonna use any of this stuff. it's so hard to picture a different outcome after what happened to Oscar. i did order her bedding though :) here is what we decided on...

we really like it! i hope she will too :) thank you all so much for all of your help and support!

Baby Registry

2009-07-11T19:35:00.001-04:00

started a baby registry today!

27 weeks!!!!!!

2009-07-09T10:54:00.002-04:00

27 WEEKS!!!!!!! i had an appointment yesterday and they say baby dee weighs about 2 pounds and 5 ounces!

so now we are shooting for 28 weeks. please pray that she will have many more weeks in my belly. i am not even gonna complain about the contractions again, but they are getting harder to control. my stitch looks so good, but i don't know how long we can keep the contractions ffrom affecting the stitch. the docs don't know either. i really want to get her past 30 weeks! i really want her to be full term and NOT go to the NICU. i don't want to give up on that dream yet! i have a nice mental picture of being 37 weeks and having the stitch removed and not fighting labor anymore and waiting for her to come :) i hope it can happen!

home from hospital

2009-07-05T09:55:00.002-04:00

we are home :) I will be on total bedrest except for the restroom for the next 7 weeks and 4 days. oh my. i have been in bed for 2 weeks and 3 days now. unfortunately i am having pretty severe hip pain in my bed at home that i had escaped at the hospital for the last few weeks. but basically everyday i continue to hurt in the bed is one day stronger baby dee is.

i had bad internet connection at the hospital. i am hoping to update more now that i am home. me being home is affording greg moretime to work on the nursery again, which will hopefully get some drywall up this weekend. my neighbors set off some great fireworks that I was able to watch from my bed yesterday. i am thankful that the Lord is allowing this pregnancy to continue. our next BIG goal is 28 weeks. her chances of doing well really go up after 28 weeks. of course 27 weeks is my next goal. i will take every day we can get! as much as i loathe this bed confinement i do not want to see her in the NICU. pray that she won't have to go there!

25 weeks and 3 days!!!

2009-06-28T10:43:00.002-04:00

So Baby Delilah is still in there!! The last week has been a challenge as I have been having LOTS of contractions and alot of cramping since we did the stitch. I am getting used to the bedrest though, it's my "new normal"

So we got good news this morning! Dr. Argeles came in and checked my cervix and we are still meausuring 2.8 cm with the stitch holding good! So even through the level of contractions and discomforts we have been going through this week, nothing has changed! I am VERY thankful to have made it this far :) Here comes 26 weeks! I will update again then!

From Hospital

2009-06-21T15:46:00.002-04:00

We are 24 weeks and 3 days :) I went into my appointment on Thursday and found my cervix was only 2 cm long and was dialating from the inside out. So I was sent straight to the hospital and was put on bedrest overnight. They were going to send me home on bedrest in the morning when I wasn't having too many contractions because they thought my cervix should be stable.

Well, really early in the morning the doc came in and said he wanted to check my cervix again and when he looked it had gone to only .80 cm overnight even on bedrest. He said I probably only had 1-2 days at most before I delivered, but he really felt it was going to happen quick. So even thogh they usually don't stitch a weak cervix closed after 24 weeks, he thought we should try. Even if we could buy a little time she would have a better chance.

So I had an emergency stitch put in my cervix and have been on total bedrest for 3 days. I had a catheter put in after the surgery and they took that out this morning. I am now allowed up to go to the bathroom and so far the stitch is holding. Aside from a horrible head and neck ache I am doing well. We are hoping to get as much more time as possible. Please pray and thank you so much for visiting and calling. We should know tomorrow how stable the stitch is and if I will be able to do strict bedrest at home or if I will be staying here.

1 more day!

2009-06-17T13:57:00.002-04:00

Only one more day til 24 weeks! My contractions had been going pretty good and then last night and this morning have really picked up again. I am wondering if I am doing better after the shot and then getting more contractions as it comes time for the shot again. One more day, one more day!

Only 3 days to 24 weeks!

2009-06-15T09:26:00.003-04:00

Only 3 more days to 24 weeks!!! My next appointment is on Thursday and I should still look good! Every hour after that mark is going to be huge!

When I go on Thursday they are going to run the Fetal Fibronectin test to see if it looks like I am having any issues with preterm labor since I have been having so many contractions. If that cones back negative and my cervix still looks good then I should have less than a 1% chance of delivering in the next two weeks. Of course, for those of you who know me well enough, 1% is too big of a chance still :) Only 1% - 2% of pregnancies are late term losses and I already pulled off one of those.

Well, this will be a little different. Even with my risk taken into consideration I will only have a tiny chance of labor in the next two weeks if things look good on the test and cervical measurement. So, I will feel great about it if the test is negative. I don't really know what happens if the test comes back positive because I have just been assuming it will be negative :)
Only a few more days to go!

6 more days :)

2009-06-12T20:05:00.002-04:00

So we have six more days to a completed 24 weeks. After that every day will be better and better chances for Baby Dee Dee! Once we get to the 24 week goal my next big goals are getting into July and getting my ticker under 100 days left. I can't wait til that happens! I can't belileve we are so close to 24 weeks. Before now making the gap between 22 and 24 weeks looked totally insurmountable. I am glad to see that even if it looks like you can't make it, you really can!

I was watching the TV Guide Channel tonight since there was nothing on and they were interviewing Cindy Crawford. They asked her to describe her life with one word. She said that she had one word to describe how she wanted to live her life and that was "present". She said that she wanted to be fully present for each part of her life, good and bad, and tries not to just live through one part to get to another. She said she doesn't want to think, "If I can just get past this part I can't get to something different or better".

I thought it was inspiring because I definitely am just in survival mode right now and not really wanting to live while I hold my breath and wait for an outcome to this pregnancy. I was hoping to just "get through" the next few months and on to something better. It is a shame to feel that way because there is so much to be had and learned during really difficult times. I am hoping now that while I cope with what is going on during the pregnancy and the discomforts and fears, that I can learn about myself and my weaknesses (which are many) and my strengths. I hope that I can grow more in my relationship with Christ and that I don't quit or give up because things are hard. I hope that I will learn more how to help other people or be there for them when they are struggling after I get more able bodied again. I know that I am learning just how important the life of this little baby is and how much we love her already. So old Cindy Crawford is right. It is important to be "present" even in the bad parts of life and experience them as fully as we experience the good parts. For instance, in the months afte Oscar died, I cried in a way that I have never cried before. It was almost like I was hearing someone else when I would hear myself. I am still fascinated by it for some reason because after the initial months of grief I have not cried like that again. Sometimes I will see James and Betty Robinson asking for help to feed the children in countries where food is sparse. I saw a little while back a woman sitting by the grave of her child who had died. The grave was fresh. When she cried out I just couldn't believe it because I knew that the pain was the same. I had never experienced pain like that before. It is good to know that I could feel a compassion for her that I would never have been able to really feel if I hadn't gone through what I did.

Anyway, rambling!!! Nice long post, I should write a book or something :)

23 Weeks! Only 7 days to 24 Weeks!

2009-06-11T16:17:00.002-04:00

So we have made it to 23 weeks! My appointment today went well. My cervix is measuring around 3.2 to 3.3 cm the last two weeks. Dr. Argeles says that he doesn't really think it is changing. He is happy if it stays over 3 cm. He says it is still firm and closed, so that is good! He always says, "So, do you have anything you want to talk about?" And I say, "Do you wanna talk about all of these contractions I am having again?" And now he jokingly says, "No". I say he is joking, but he is probably serious! He has been really patient with me... I know he can't wait until I have this baby either :)

Tomorrow I have got to try to buy a little something in the way of maternity wear. I tried to put on my pre-pregnancy jeans the other day... wish I would have taken a picture of that! That was worth a good 10 minutes of laughing on my part :) I really would like to have some dresses so I can stay cool. Some people have lent me maternity wear, but it is always small. Some of the small stuff won't even come past my thighs at this point, so I am pretty sure I am a medium or large!

So, we will plug on again through this week, counting down to a completed 24 weeks... I can't believe it! We are gonna make it! Hope I can stay sane til then :)

I heard a good message on the radio this morning that was talking about how as Christians we are never guaranteed a life without struggle or difficulty. It was a good message for me right now and something I needed to hear. I still smile when that happens because so often I hear a message that is exactly what I need to hear and it's usually blunt about it. It was a good message.

Melinda

9 Days til 24 Weeks!

2009-06-09T10:57:00.003-04:00

I guess I am just skipping right over 23 weeks and looking at 24! We will be 23 weeks in two days :) I have another appointment on Thursday afternoon. All should be well and then one more week to 24! Every day after 22 has been exciting, but every day after 24 is going to be huge!!!

Baby Dee has been moving around a ton this morning. Her kicks are starting to get pretty hard nowadays. Sometimes I get this weird feeling like I am living in the twilight zone or something. I just can't really believe that we are here again already. I sometimes can't believe I tried again. When we first talked about it I thought there was no way I would be able to survive another pregnancy. But so far I am surviving. Literally one day at a time, but it is getting there!

I really can't wait to have this baby so I can get back to my life of moving and not being uncomfortably pregnant. I am hoping that even with the cramping and contractions that I can start getting around more once I get closer to 30 weeks. If all is well at that point then I would feel a little more comfortable dismissing the cramping and just pushing through so we could go places again.

I am in a pretty bad place in my walk with Christ right now. I don't want anyone to comment on this part of the blog. I just want people to know where I am. I will just take comments in a wrong way because of where I am, so please don't. I know that the fear of another bad outcome has gotten in my way. I still know that He is Lord and that He is good. I still believe the Word. I have just lost all ability to pray. I don't know how to pray anymore. I know for sure that it is not praying for the desired outcome and having it come to pass. I have always had a hard time with praying for physical healing and needs. That only became worse after losing Oscar. I know that I had a huge increase in my faith after Oscar died though. I am just having a hard time. We are always excited when someone is healed or survives or we pray for babies and they do well. I just don't know how to handle it right now when things don't go well. I hope that I can come to a place where I can pray and believe that He really is involved in my daily life again because if we do have this baby, her faith in Christ is going to depend on it. I wish I could pray for her now, but I just can't. I can't take praying for her health and well being right now. The only thing I have been able to pray at all is that His will be done, because that is what will happen anyway. I don't know what to say when I try to pray for her.

I apologize for the long post and again, please try not to comment on my spiritual struggle. I just wanted people to know and there seems no point in ignoring such a huge part of my life that has changed right now.

Melinda

Army Wives and Hard Day

2009-06-07T16:39:00.002-04:00

Army Wives will be on tonight and I will get to watch the premier from my house :) That was one of my "mini goals".

Today has been a rough one. I was doing well in the earlier part of the day, but I tried to accompany Greg on a quick run to the store. The second I got in the car I started off with the really strong, crampy contractions. The store didn't go well for me and then by the time I got back it took a while to get the cramping back under control. Some days that little trip would have been no problem, but today it was terrible for some reason. I wish I was able to just run to the store or sit on the couch like a normal person again without discomfort! I really think my body dislikes pregnancy for some reason :)

My next appointment is on Thursday. That will make 23 weeks! This Tuesday starts the 10 day countdown to 24 weeks. Greg and I went to Babies R Us last night for about 20 minutes before they closed (20 minutes was all I thought I could handle). We found a crib we liked. We will probably order some furniture when we get to 26 or 27 weeks. I just can't stand to do it before then. I am excited!

Melinda

Getting There :)

2009-06-06T08:37:00.002-04:00

We are 22 weeks and 2 days today! In only 12 more days we will be 24 weeks! Once we get to that point and things still look wonderful, we will get a test done to look for Fetal Fibronectin. It is called and fFN test. If (and when) the test comes back negative, they say that you have a 99.5% chance of carrying the baby for the next two weeks. So if my cervix measures good and that test is negative we should definitely make 26 weeks. They say the test is good because it helps them to know if they need to give you steroids to help the baby's lungs. They were going to give it to me as a precaution at 24 weeks, but if the test is negative he feels confident not giving me the steroids. He said the steroids will compromise my immune system. And I surely don't need that after that horrible stomach bug I had at 18 weeks :)

So I am getting pretty sure that this baby will be be named Delilah Rae Currence. I am aware that everyone has different opinions about the name, but we like it! Greg just started calling her that and it seems to be sticking. I will probably call her Dee Dee though or Dee Dee Rae or Baby Dee :) I haven't talked to her too much lately, just been a little nervous to. It helps thinking of her with a name though. 12 more days!

Melinda

22 WEEKS!!

2009-06-04T16:44:00.014-04:00

Here is a pic of my 22 week belly and the baby's first outfit! My belly looks so much bigger in the picture than in the mirror (along with other parts of me that seem to be getting bigger as well that are better left unmentioned) :)

So we are making progress on our "goal list". Only two more weeks and we will make 24 weeks. I can not wait!!!

Today I laid the remote on my belly at the recommendation of my sister who said the baby would kick it around if I did. I thought it was too early for that still. Well, I did it and two seconds after I set it on there it bounced with a big kick! I couldn't believe it, she is really moving around in there :)

Melinda

21 Weeks 6 Days

2009-06-03T17:57:00.002-04:00

So, at 3:41 pm today I am officially "more pregnant" than I ever was last time! I had Oscar at 21 weeks and 6 days into the pregnancy at 3:40 pm. So at 3:41 pm today I had a mini celebration! I was doing really good on contractions today, but this evening I am having some crampy ones. They have been every twenty minutes for a little while now, so I have to go lay down and rest now :)

Tomorrow I will officially make 22 weeks! And then on Friday I am officially in the first day of the 23rd week! I will try tomorrow to get a belly picture. I bought the baby her first outfit the other day. I will put a picture of that on too... it is so cute :)

So the next "big" goal is 24 weeks and then hopefully many weeks after that!

Melinda

Hang in there

2009-06-01T15:13:00.003-04:00

I have never felt more like this cat in my whole life. I kept thinking about this cat yesterday and still feeling that way today! I am having tons of contracting today and will have to be seen between appointments again because of it. They are getting harder. I AM this cat!

Still hanging in

2009-05-31T11:52:00.003-04:00

So we are still hanging in there. Today I have been contracting pretty strongly, but not too frequently. I have been resting and trying to keep this baby in! I have about 2 and a half weeks until I can register for baby stuff! I am getting excited about that. I am going to get a new digital camera too so I can take pics of my belly :) I still have not taken any pictures of my belly this time... not sure why.

So I hope I have a good week because I am really going to try not to go into the doctor this week before my scheduled appointment. I need to stay outta there and quit paying copays or I am not going to have any money to buy diapers :)

Melinda

21 weeks and no hospital!!!!

2009-05-29T17:01:00.003-04:00

We have officially made it to the 21 week doctor visit and I am not in the hospital this time!!

I saw Dr. Argeles today who measured my cervix at 4.0 cm, which is where he has always measured it since the beginning of the pregnancy. He says it looks like my cervix is "rock solid" for now. So, hopefully the contractions will continue to have no effect! I had a whole lot of contractions last night and woke up with them alot, but so far today has been pretty good. I have been handling them better emotionally for the last few days, so that is exciting. I would like to go this weekend and buy the baby and outfit. When we found out Oscar was a boy we bought him a little outfit. So, I am excited about little girl clothes... so cute!

So, first goal down, only a few more to go and then we will have a baby. I can't believe it! Please pray!

21 Weeks...better day so far

2009-05-28T10:10:00.004-04:00

I had a really good night last night and so far today I have been doing really well with the cramping and contracting. I am having hardly any. When I woke up and it didn't start really bad, all I could think was, "Maybe someone has prayed and this will just stop, like a miracle"! So let's hope that is the case... how exciting would that be!!! I am 21 weeks today! My ticker on the site is one day off for some reason. If I don't go to the hospital at my appointment tomorrow, which I won't, I have made my first goal date!

Well, at any rate, today has been good. I had a fasting glucose and thyroid level blood draw done this morning, so please pray that all is well with my bloodwork. As specially my blood sugar. I need some sweets, so I have to have good blood sugar!

On a funny note (or a gross one, depending on how you feel), we discovered a Blow Pop in our basement that had been "gnawed on" by "something" about a week ago. So we figured we either had some huge crickets that grew really big teeth, or a mouse. Eeeeeeewwwwww!!!! So we bought some mouse traps. The first night something ate off of all the traps and walked away and not one snapped! The second night we rigged them up different and caught this fat brown mouse. Well, we left the traps down there just in case and caught another one yesterday! I got home and Greg said, "I have a suprise for you"! So, our family has been growing, just not in the way we would want it to!

Went to the doctor

2009-05-27T19:00:00.002-04:00

Well, I made it to the doctor this morning. They checked me and my cervix is measuring around 3.4 cm with no softening that is noticeable. A different doc measured, so I don't know how accurate the 3.4 is. It was good for me to know that the baby is okay for now so that I can sleep through the next couple nights til my appointment without thinking that I am really in preterm labor.

The doctor did say that this much contracting this early is concerning to him based on my history. There just isn't anything they can really do until I reach 24 weeks. So I just have to try to make myself as comfortable as possible. The contractions are as bad and as often as they were when I was in the hospital last time. I am really having them about every ten minutes or less sometimes now. It is lasting all day like that. I wish it wasn't! So I am hoping that Friday nothing changes and that my cervix keeps holding fast. Please pray. We REALLY want this baby to make it and be healthy!

Horrible night

2009-05-27T03:49:00.002-04:00

I am up at 3:30 this morning with almost constant contractions now. I was laying there for 20 minutes and had five of them with bad cramping. I am probably going to be awake with them until the office opens and I can call and tell them I need to be seen. They are way over four an hour and really have been for days now. The cramping is getting worse.

I called the on call doctor this morning and she says it could just be preterm contractions and not actually preterm labor. The shots I am receiving are supposed to prevent preterm labor. So it is possible that I am not having any change of cervix, but I just can't sit by anymore ignoring these. She did say that they don't make a practice of trying to stop contractions before 24 weeks because the pregnancy is still "not viable". Kind of funny, huh? A baby that is fully formed and is 10.5 inches long by this point and around 1 pound that I can feel kicking and moving "isn't viable". She said if I am having cervical change from contractions that it would just be "late miscarriage" at this point.

So I will probably sit here awake until the office opens. I am way past sleeping at this point as the contracting is waking me up. So I am gonna take a shower and hope I go in and get some reassurance this morning and not bad news. The doc did say that I may have an "extremely irritable uterus". She says she has patients that struggle with lots of contractions the whole time. We just have to wait and see if the pregnancy can take it :) Even if the baby can handle it and stay in, I may lose my mind from it!

Memorial Day :)

2009-05-25T12:27:00.003-04:00

Today has been a much better day so far than Friday and Saturday were :) Yesterday afternoon my cramping really subsided some. I am still having contractions alot, but not so much cramping and pain. So even though they continue, I am not feeling as much emotional stress as I started to on Saturday.

So please pray that the contractions are still not causing any changes in my cervix and that this little baby will stay in regardless of them. Please pray for Greg. I know that he is scared of the outcome of this pregnancy like I am, but he has the role of supporting me on top of it. So he has really had to be strong. He washed out and saved a pickle jar the other night so the baby can catch fireflies in it. You know, like four years from now. It will probably sit on my kitchen counter til then :)

Well, on a HUGE UPNOTE, yes, this is exciting! I thought that I turned 29 on Saturday, which means I am going on 30 now. Well, Greg was questioning that yesterday and we got to counting the years. I am pretty sure I am only 28!!!!!! So I actually got one year younger on my birthday!!!! That never happens, I am really excited. So if I miscounted and I really am 29, nobody tell me. I am enjoying the moment :)

Hard weekend

2009-05-24T14:33:00.003-04:00

It has been a hard weekend. I was doing okay in the past couple weeks and then this week came! Friday I really started having alot more cramping and contractions. They really started to get bothersome. I didn't want to go into the hospital since I had just been to an appointment the day before. And of course it is the weekend (and a holdiay weekend) so the office is closed. I am trying to be a "big girl" and stay out of the office between weekly visits. It is just so hard to ignore the ever increasing discomforts and contractions. I just don't see how I will be contracting this much already and our little baby will stay in. Please pray for us.

The docs feel like the contractions are nothing more than an annoyance at this point since my cervix looks good. I just get concerned when they start ramping up because I don't have a way of knowing if I am in preterm labor when I am contracting all the time anyway. I was just really hoping that the shots they are giving me weekly to "keep my uterus from contracting" were going to keep me from noticing any contractions. I guess I am disappointed to find that I am having all the same symptoms with this pregnancy that I had with Oscar. I really wanted this one to go totally different and better.

So, on an upnote, this has been going on all weekend but hasn't gotten any worse. So I will have to decide on Tuesday morning if I can make it to my Friday appointment without stressing or if I will have to go in for peace of mind before then.

The resting isn't helping anymore either. I am having many more contractions now all day, even while resting. Please pray that I can get a break from the belly discomforts. We really want this baby to make it.

Goal Dates!

2009-05-22T05:33:00.000-04:00

So every week we pass now is one of our "goal dates". Basically, it will go something like this:

Thursday, May 28th
I will be 21 weeks. I have an appointment on Friday, May 29th. If all still looks well we will be really excited because last year at that time I was put in the hospital and I had no cervical length and was 1 cm dialated.

Thursday, June 4th
I will be 22 weeks. If all still looks well at that week's appointment then I have officially made it to the point I lost Oscar and will still be pregnant (and home hopefully)!

Sunday, June 7th
A little mini goal for me. The new season of "Army Wives" starts. Last year I watched the premier from the hospital bed the night before I lost Oscar. So I am really excited to be home and doing well still and watch it this year!

Thursday, June 18th
24 WEEKS!!!!!
This will be a huge goal for us as the baby has a chance of survival is born after this date. We were two weeks away from this when I went into labor last year. This year we are gonna make it way past this! As soon as I make it to this I will "officially" feel like I am actually having a a baby. This is the goal I am waiting to pass before I register for baby stuff and start buying things. I can't wait!

20 Weeks!

2009-05-21T22:31:00.000-04:00

We made it to 20 weeks! Just a quick history for those who don't know our background. Greg and I are expecting a baby girl after losing our son last year at 22 weeks into the pregnancy. He was our first baby and was conceived after four years of infertility. The doctors still aren't really sure what happened last year. They thought it could possibly have been because of an infection or a weak cervix that couldn't hold the weight of the pregnancy. So trying again has been really hard to get through!

I am excited to start this blog even though I have previously thought they were silly things that no one reads. I have really been hunting online for success stories from women who have had unexplained second trimester pregnancy loss and have found it hard to find them. I am hoping that someone else who is struggling with a pregnancy after losing a baby will find this one day and be able to get some encouragement from it. And since I am hoping to make it full term this time, I think it should be great encouragement! I think it will also be good for any family or friends who want an update. I have been trying to stay as calm and stress free as possible. So talking to people about the pregnancy and appointments hasn't really been the best thing for me. I feel bad not letting people know what is going on, so this way I will only have to tell it once :)

So here is my latest update:

I had an appointment today with my OB. They checked my cervical length by ultrasound and it seems unchanged. It is still measuring 3.9 cm to 4.0 cm. The pushed on my stomach and say that the cervix still seems firm and hasn't gotten softer, so that is a good sign. I have been having alot of belly discomforts and contracting that isn't painful, but concerning. I am getting some horomone shots once a week to try to prevent a loss if my horomone issues are to blame. The baby is moving all around in the last two weeks and seems well, so that is exciting. The doctor basically told me today that I need to be on "rest" as much as possible to help lessen the contracting. It is probably mostly for my own sanity as I start to get upset when it happens alot.

So, the doctor thinks we are still okay even though I am having the cramping. Please pray that he is right! We want this baby to survive and be healthy so badly... it has started to get exciting now that the baby is moving and things still look good. Pray that this one stays in for a long time to come. Greg told her the other day to "grab onto my liver or something" so she doesn't fall out :)