The contractions have become alot more painful and constant (every five minutes) and miserable again the last few days. I have been doing well on the contractions and now I am not sure this is going to be very good for Delilah if I contract all day everyday for the next four weeks before the stitch comes out. Seems to me so much contracting for so long would be hard on her. These of course are going to be questions for the doc.
So today I am allowed more privileges like going out for a short trip each day. Of course, if it makes my contractions horrible, it may not be fun :( My stitch is coming out on September 22nd at 8 am. Only 26 more days to that. Then at least the contractions can just dialate me if they want to :)
We got our crib in and set up! Greg's mom and stepdad got it for us and brought it over and helped Greg set it up. I was soooo excited! Then, half an hour later I was crying because I feel like having furniture moved in for her is going to "jinx" me and something will go wrong. I do have to say that I have had a few days of major anxiety since the crib came. I don't have to worry about preterm labor anymore, so now I am concerned some other thing will happen that will keep us from bringing her home. I know that no one wants to hear this and would rather I just "not think that way" or "stop worrying", but that is not going to happen. I will be afraid of my body hurting her in some way until she is out and crying. Part of this is that I realized for 100% sure that there can not and will not ever be another pregnancy after this. I can never go through something like this again. I just can't tolerate the fear and physical difficulty and danger of losing the baby and fear of harming her with all the medications ever again. So now alot is riding on her coming home. She is our only chance at our own child and I couldn't bear it if something happened now.
So, now you know how I have been for a few days. But, at any rate, the crib is really cute! Here is a belly pic and a pic of the new crib.
1 comment:
You are doing great, hang in there. I know it is hard thing to go though, but it will be all worth it in the end once you are holding your little girl. If you ever need to talk, I am here.
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